10 Things You Say That Might Hurt Your Child’s Confidence and 10 That Can Help to Build It Up
Words are powerful, especially when spoken to children. As a parent, what you say can shape how your child views themselves and the world around them. While you may not always realize it, certain phrases can damage their confidence and well-being, while others can nurture their growth and self-esteem.
Here are 10 things you should never say to your child, and 10 positive alternatives that will uplift and encourage them instead.
10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Child: “You’re being ridiculous.”
Dismissing your child’s feelings as silly or unimportant can make them feel invalidated. Instead, acknowledge their emotions and talk through them to understand their perspective.
“Why can’t you be more like your sibling?”
Comparisons can create resentment and harm your child’s self-esteem. Each child is unique, and it’s important to celebrate their individuality rather than comparing them to others.
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“You never do anything right.”
This kind of statement can cause a child to internalize a sense of failure. Instead, focus on what they’re learning and encourage them to keep trying despite setbacks.
“Stop crying.”
Telling a child to stop crying can make them feel ashamed of their emotions. It’s healthier to comfort them and let them express what they’re feeling in a safe environment.
“You’re so lazy.”
Labeling your child as lazy can make them feel discouraged. Instead, offer support and ask if there’s something they need help with to stay motivated or focused.
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“Because I said so.”
While it may seem like a quick way to end a disagreement, this phrase shuts down communication. Instead, explain your reasoning to help your child understand the decision.
“Big boys/girls don’t act like that.”
Shaming a child for their behavior by questioning their maturity can lead to insecurity. Encourage them to grow by modeling appropriate behavior instead.
“You’ll never amount to anything.”
This phrase can deeply wound a child’s sense of self-worth. Instead, express belief in their abilities and remind them that everyone has potential for greatness.
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“I wish you were never born.”
Such a statement can have a devastating emotional impact on a child. Even in moments of frustration, it’s important to avoid words that could cause long-lasting pain.
“You’re too sensitive.”
This dismissive phrase can make a child feel self-conscious about their emotions. Instead, validate their feelings and help them navigate emotional situations.
10 Things You Absolutely Should Say to Your Child: “I believe in you.”
Letting your child know that you have confidence in their abilities can boost their self-esteem and encourage them to take on challenges without fear of failure.
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“It’s okay to make mistakes.”
This phrase teaches your child that failure is a part of learning, and it helps build resilience by showing them that mistakes are opportunities for growth.
“I’m proud of you.”
Whether your child achieves something big or small, hearing these words will fill them with pride and reinforce their sense of accomplishment.
“How are you feeling?”
Asking your child about their emotions encourages open communication and shows that you care about what’s going on in their world.
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“You’re special just the way you are.”
Remind your child that their uniqueness is something to be celebrated. It helps them develop a healthy sense of self-worth and individuality.
“Thank you for helping.”
Expressing gratitude for even small acts teaches your child the value of contribution and shows them that their efforts are appreciated.
“I’m here if you need me.”
Letting your child know you’re available for support reassures them that they can turn to you for help and comfort, strengthening your bond.
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“What can we learn from this?”
Encouraging your child to look for lessons in challenging situations helps them develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills.
“I love you no matter what.”
Unconditional love is one of the most powerful things you can offer your child. It reassures them that your love isn’t based on performance or behavior.
“You make me happy.”
This simple statement reinforces your child’s sense of belonging and self-worth, showing them that they bring joy into your life just by being themselves.
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