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12 Ways Adults Show They Didn’t Get Enough Emotional Nurturing as Kids

Emotional support during childhood is crucial for healthy development. It teaches kids how to manage emotions, form relationships, and develop a sense of self-worth.

When children don’t receive the emotional nurturing they need, it often carries over into adulthood in surprising ways. Adults who grew up without enough emotional support may struggle with self-esteem, relationships, or even expressing their own feelings.

If you suspect your upbringing lacked emotional care, here are 12 traits that could reveal how it’s affected you as an adult.

Difficulty Trusting Others

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Adults who didn’t receive emotional support often struggle with trust. Growing up without reliable care makes it hard to believe others will be there for you.

This lack of trust can impact relationships, making it difficult to fully open up or rely on others. Trust issues often stem from a fear of being let down or abandoned.

Low Self-Esteem

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When emotional support is absent in childhood, it can result in low self-worth. You may have grown up feeling unimportant or unworthy of love and care.

As an adult, this manifests as self-doubt and insecurity. Building self-esteem requires unlearning these negative beliefs and embracing your value.

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Difficulty Expressing Emotions

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If you weren’t encouraged to express your emotions as a child, you might struggle with it as an adult. You may feel uncomfortable talking about your feelings or find it hard to identify them.

This emotional suppression can lead to frustration or feelings of isolation. Learning to express emotions openly takes time but is essential for emotional well-being.

Fear of Intimacy

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People who lacked emotional support often fear intimacy. Getting close to someone emotionally can feel overwhelming or scary.

You may push people away to protect yourself from potential hurt. Fear of intimacy is rooted in the belief that emotional closeness will lead to rejection.

Constant Need for Validation

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Without emotional support, adults often seek external validation to feel worthy. You might rely on praise or approval from others to feel good about yourself.

This can lead to unhealthy relationships where you depend on others to validate your worth. True confidence comes from within, not from external sources.

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Perfectionism

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Children who lacked emotional nurturing often feel the need to be perfect to earn approval. As an adult, this can manifest as relentless perfectionism, where nothing ever feels good enough.

The pressure to be perfect can lead to burnout, anxiety, and constant dissatisfaction. Letting go of perfectionism allows room for self-acceptance and growth.

Fear of Rejection

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Growing up without emotional care can make you hypersensitive to rejection. You might go to great lengths to avoid situations where you could be rejected, even if it means missing out on opportunities.

This fear often stems from early experiences of feeling unloved or unwanted. Overcoming it requires facing rejection head-on and learning that it doesn’t define your worth.

Overly Independent

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Some adults develop extreme independence to avoid relying on others. If you didn’t get emotional support as a child, you might feel like you can’t depend on anyone but yourself.

While independence is valuable, being overly self-reliant can make it hard to accept help or form deep connections. Balancing independence with vulnerability is key to healthy relationships.

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Difficulty Setting Boundaries

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Without proper emotional guidance, setting boundaries can feel foreign or uncomfortable. You may find it hard to say no, leading to feelings of being overwhelmed or taken advantage of.

Setting healthy boundaries requires understanding your needs and protecting your emotional space. Learning to assert yourself without guilt is vital for emotional health.

People-Pleasing Tendencies

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Adults who didn’t receive enough emotional support often try to please others to feel accepted. You may go out of your way to make others happy, even at your own expense.

This behavior is rooted in the belief that you must earn love and approval. Breaking free from people-pleasing involves prioritizing your needs and self-worth.

Struggle With Emotional Regulation

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Without emotional support growing up, you may have difficulty managing your emotions. You might experience intense mood swings, anger, or overwhelming sadness.

Emotional regulation requires learning how to process emotions in a healthy way. Seeking help through therapy or mindfulness can aid in developing emotional control.

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Difficulty Forming Close Relationships

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Adults who didn’t receive enough emotional support as children often struggle with forming deep, meaningful connections. You may feel disconnected from others or have difficulty trusting that relationships will last.

This can lead to loneliness or fear of abandonment. Learning to build and maintain close relationships requires vulnerability and trust.

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