17 Common Thanksgiving Courtesies That Could Secretly Annoy Your Hosts
Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, family, and good food, but navigating the social dynamics can be tricky. Sometimes, actions intended as polite or thoughtful may unintentionally cause discomfort or even offense.
Whether it’s how you handle the food, interact with the hosts, or respond to traditions, some well-meaning gestures can rub people the wrong way. This list explores 17 common Thanksgiving behaviors that may seem polite on the surface but are actually considered rude.
Avoid these pitfalls and make the day truly joyful for everyone!
Showing Up Too Early
Arriving before the designated time might seem like you’re being eager and helpful, but it can throw the host into a frenzy. Last-minute preparations like setting the table or finishing dishes are best done without an audience.
Critiquing the Food
Even a well-intentioned comment like “Oh, it’s a little salty, but I like it!” can offend the cook. Thanksgiving meals take hours of effort, and any criticism—no matter how small—can come across as ungrateful.
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Bringing an Unannounced Dish
While you might think adding to the feast is generous, showing up with an unexpected dish can disrupt the carefully planned menu. Always ask the host beforehand if they’d like contributions.
Hovering in the Kitchen
Offering to help is great, but standing around while the host cooks or cleans can feel like micromanagement. If your help isn’t needed, enjoy the company elsewhere.
Starting Dinner Without Waiting
Digging in before the host sits down or says it’s time is a surefire way to seem impatient. Thanksgiving meals are often a coordinated effort, and starting early can come off as dismissive of the host’s efforts.
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Declining Food Without Explanation
A simple “No, thank you” works better than announcing, “I’m avoiding carbs,” or “I hate turkey.” Overly detailed rejections can make others uncomfortable or self-conscious about their choices.
Correcting Someone’s Traditions
Thanksgiving traditions vary, and telling someone how they “should” do things, like cooking the turkey or serving dessert, can feel dismissive of their family’s way of celebrating.
Taking Too Many Leftovers
Hosts often plan for guests to take leftovers, but piling your plate high or asking for extras beyond what’s offered can seem greedy. Be mindful of other guests and the host’s intent.
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Complaining About Seating Arrangements
You may not love where you’re seated, but switching spots or grumbling about it can disrupt the host’s careful planning and make the event feel chaotic.
Overstaying Your Welcome
Lingering long after dessert is eaten can wear out even the most gracious hosts. Pay attention to social cues, and leave when it’s clear the event is winding down.
Overloading Your Plate Immediately
Thanksgiving is about sharing, and taking huge portions right away might leave others without enough. It’s best to start modestly and go for seconds later if there’s still plenty.
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Dominating the Conversation
Thanksgiving is a time to share stories and laughter, but monopolizing the discussion—especially with polarizing topics—can alienate others. Balance talking with listening.
Ignoring the Kids’ Table
If there’s a designated kids’ table, don’t treat it as an afterthought. Engaging with the younger guests—even briefly—can make the gathering feel more inclusive and joyful.
Making Unsolicited Food Suggestions
Suggesting the addition of a dish like “next time, you should try pumpkin pie instead of pecan” can feel like an unnecessary critique of the host’s menu choices.
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Forgetting to Say Thank You
While it seems obvious, many guests forget to explicitly thank their hosts for the effort they put in. A heartfelt “thank you” goes a long way in showing appreciation.
Taking Center Stage During Grace
If asked to say grace or share what you’re thankful for, keep it brief and inclusive. Long-winded speeches can make others uncomfortable or take away from the communal spirit.
Leaving Without Helping at All
Though the host likely won’t expect everyone to help, leaving immediately after the meal without offering assistance can seem inconsiderate. Even small gestures, like clearing your plate, are appreciated.
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