17 Ways a Narcissist Behaves When You Break Free from Their Grip
Narcissists thrive on control and manipulation. They feel entitled to dictate the terms of relationships, often using tactics like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and emotional coercion to maintain their grip.
But what happens when their ability to control you starts slipping away? It’s a dangerous moment for them, and their reactions can be extreme, unpredictable, and deeply revealing.
If you’ve ever felt the tension change in a narcissistic relationship, here are 17 ways they act when they can no longer dominate the situation.
They Start Gaslighting You More

Gaslighting is a narcissist’s favorite weapon for maintaining control. When they sense they’re losing grip, they’ll intensify this tactic, making you question your reality, memories, and perceptions.
This is their attempt to regain dominance and destabilize your confidence.
They Become Aggressive or Hostile

If a narcissist loses control over you, they may resort to aggression or hostility. Their frustration turns into outward anger, with insults, belittling, and even threats.
This behavior is an attempt to intimidate and regain their perceived superiority.
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They Try to Slander Your Reputation

When their manipulation fails, narcissists may spread rumors or talk behind your back to damage your reputation. They’re seeking to turn others against you in a desperate bid to reassert their influence and control over your social circle.
They Withdraw and Give You the Silent Treatment

When a narcissist feels their control slipping, they may withdraw emotionally, giving you the silent treatment. This form of manipulation forces you to chase them for attention or validation, re-establishing the power dynamic in their favor.
They Become Overly Charming

In an effort to win back your trust and control, a narcissist may flip the script by being excessively charming. They’ll shower you with compliments or act overly considerate, trying to re-establish their hold by seducing your affections.
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They Start Playing the Victim

When narcissists can’t control you, they often start playing the victim. They’ll accuse you of being unfair, selfish, or cruel, hoping to manipulate your guilt and get back into your good graces.
This tactic aims to shift the blame and regain the upper hand.
They Try to Trigger Jealousy

If a narcissist can’t control you, they might try to provoke jealousy, often by flirting with others or highlighting your perceived shortcomings in public. The goal is to create emotional instability, making you more susceptible to their influence again.
They Attack Your Self-Esteem

Narcissists thrive on making others feel inferior to them. When they lose control, they may launch direct attacks on your self-esteem, criticizing your appearance, abilities, or worth in an attempt to reassert their dominance.
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They Become Passive-Aggressive

If a narcissist can’t confront you directly, they’ll resort to passive-aggressive behavior, like giving backhanded compliments or withholding affection. It’s a subtle attempt to manipulate your feelings and put you back in a position of needing their approval.
They Use Your Weaknesses Against You

When control slips, a narcissist will start exploiting any vulnerabilities they’ve previously noticed. They might throw your past mistakes or insecurities in your face to make you feel ashamed, hoping to weaken your resolve and regain control.
They Isolate You From Others

A narcissist who can’t control you may try to isolate you from your friends or family. They’ll subtly undermine your relationships with others, making you feel guilty for spending time with people they can’t manipulate.
This isolation is a power play to weaken your support system.
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They Accuse You of Changing

A common tactic of a narcissist who feels out of control is accusing you of “changing” or “being different.” This is their attempt to blame your growth or newfound independence for the breakdown in the relationship, rather than acknowledging their own toxic behavior.
They Begin Hoarding Information

When a narcissist can’t control you, they may start withholding information or playing “mind games.” This tactic is meant to disorient you, preventing you from making decisions or moving forward without their input.
They Try to Reinvent Themselves

In a last-ditch effort to regain control, a narcissist may attempt to reinvent themselves, adopting a new persona or dramatically changing their behavior. This is often an attempt to reel you back in by presenting a more “appealing” version of themselves.
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They Discredit Your Boundaries

A narcissist who can’t control you may start undermining your boundaries, testing your limits to see if they can regain influence. They’ll disregard your requests or attempt to guilt-trip you for enforcing personal limits.
They Overload You with Responsibility

If they lose control, a narcissist might try to regain it by putting excessive responsibility on your shoulders. They’ll delegate tasks, demand favors, or make you feel like the weight of everything is on you, hoping to manipulate you into compliance.
They Seek Out New Targets

When they realize they’ve lost control over you, narcissists often seek new targets to manipulate. They might latch onto someone else, trying to get their fix of admiration and control, leaving you behind but still trying to maintain a degree of influence.
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