19 Bad Habits Parents Have That Damage Adult Relationships With Their Kids
As children grow into adults, the parent-child relationship inevitably changes. What once worked in the early years may not be as effective or healthy in adulthood. Unfortunately, some parents unknowingly hold onto habits that create distance between them and their grown children.
These bad habits can cause tension, erode trust, and make it difficult to maintain close relationships. Recognizing and addressing these behaviors can help parents repair and strengthen their bonds with their adult kids.
Here are 19 bad habits that often prevent parents from staying close to their adult children.
Being Overly Critical
Constantly criticizing your adult child’s choices, lifestyle, or decisions can create distance. Adults want to feel respected and validated for their independence.
When parents focus too much on what their child is doing wrong, it strains the relationship. Too much criticism often pushes adult children away emotionally.
Failing to Respect Boundaries
Parents who don’t respect their adult children’s boundaries often find themselves distanced. As children grow up, they need space to make their own decisions and lead their lives.
Ignoring boundaries creates tension and fosters resentment. Respecting boundaries is key to maintaining a healthy, close relationship.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Holding Onto Control
Parents who try to control every aspect of their adult children’s lives risk pushing them away. Adult children need the freedom to make mistakes, learn, and grow on their own.
Attempting to control their decisions can stifle their independence. Letting go of control fosters trust and a more balanced relationship.
Being Judgmental
Judgmental comments about lifestyle choices, relationships, or career paths can lead to emotional distance. Adult children want to feel accepted for who they are, not constantly judged.
This judgment often makes them feel like they can’t be themselves around their parents. Acceptance, rather than judgment, is crucial for maintaining closeness.
Always Giving Unsolicited Advice
Offering advice when it’s not asked for can feel overbearing to adult children. While parents may have good intentions, unsolicited advice can come across as controlling or condescending.
Adult children appreciate being trusted to figure things out on their own. Wait for your child to ask for advice before offering it freely.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Not Letting Go of the Past
Bringing up past mistakes or constantly reminding adult children of their missteps creates emotional barriers. Parents who can’t let go of the past may cause their children to feel guilt or shame.
Focusing on past grievances prevents the relationship from growing in a positive direction. Letting go of past mistakes allows both parents and children to move forward.
Playing the Guilt Card
Parents who use guilt to manipulate their adult children often end up pushing them away. Guilt-tripping creates a toxic dynamic where children feel pressured rather than loved.
This emotional manipulation erodes trust and makes relationships feel burdensome. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, not guilt or obligation.
Acting Like a Victim
Parents who constantly portray themselves as victims or martyrs can create emotional exhaustion for their adult children. This behavior shifts the focus onto the parent’s needs, rather than fostering a balanced relationship.
It often leads to frustration and a desire to distance from the emotional burden. A strong relationship involves taking responsibility rather than relying on guilt or pity.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Refusing to Apologize
Parents who never admit when they’re wrong create emotional distance between themselves and their children. Refusing to apologize reinforces the idea that the parent’s pride is more important than the relationship.
A sincere apology can heal wounds and restore trust in the relationship. Apologizing when necessary fosters respect and closeness.
Comparing Them to Others
Constantly comparing your adult children to their siblings, friends, or others breeds resentment. No one wants to feel like they’re constantly falling short of someone else’s achievements.
This habit creates insecurity and drives emotional wedges in relationships. Focusing on your child’s unique strengths helps build confidence and connection.
Ignoring Their Personal Lives
Parents who show little interest in their adult children’s personal lives often struggle to stay close. When parents don’t make an effort to engage with their children’s partners, careers, or hobbies, it feels dismissive.
This disinterest creates emotional distance and makes the relationship feel shallow. Showing genuine interest strengthens the bond between parent and child.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Trying to Relive Their Lives Through Their Kids
Parents who try to live vicariously through their adult children often create tension and unrealistic expectations. Pushing children to fulfill the dreams or goals that the parent never achieved leads to resentment.
This behavior takes away the child’s autonomy and sense of individuality. Allowing children to pursue their own passions creates space for a healthier relationship.
Refusing to Let Them Grow Up
Parents who continue to treat their adult children like they’re still kids often end up alienating them. It’s essential for parents to recognize that their children are now adults with their own lives.
Treating them as children can feel patronizing and stifling. Acknowledging their maturity helps foster mutual respect.
Being Overly Dependent on Them
Parents who rely too heavily on their adult children for emotional support can create an unhealthy dynamic. This role reversal can lead to burnout and frustration for the adult child.
It’s important for parents to have their own support systems outside of their children. Maintaining emotional independence helps prevent codependency.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Always Expecting Them to Initiate Contact
Parents who expect their adult children to always make the first move often find themselves feeling disconnected. Relationships are a two-way street, and relying solely on your child to reach out can create distance.
When parents initiate contact, it shows effort and a desire to stay close. A healthy relationship involves effort from both sides.
Failing to Respect Their Time
Adult children have busy lives, and parents who don’t respect their time can create tension. Constantly demanding their attention or feeling entitled to their time creates pressure.
This lack of consideration can push adult children away. Respecting their schedules and commitments shows understanding and support.
Refusing to Accept Their Partners
Parents who are critical or dismissive of their adult children’s partners often create long-term rifts. A lack of acceptance for their chosen partner makes the child feel torn between their parent and their relationship.
This behavior puts unnecessary strain on the relationship and creates emotional distance. Respecting their partner’s choices fosters a more harmonious relationship.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Being Overly Negative
Parents who constantly complain, criticize, or focus on the negative create a draining atmosphere. This negativity can weigh heavily on adult children, making interactions feel burdensome.
No one wants to be around constant negativity, which can lead to avoidance. Focusing on positivity and support strengthens bonds rather than weakening them.
Holding Unrealistic Expectations
Parents who hold their adult children to unrealistic expectations often set them up for failure. When children feel like they can never live up to their parents' standards, it leads to frustration and distance.
These expectations create tension and strain the relationship. Accepting your children as they are helps to maintain a closer, more supportive bond.
More from IEPMommy
- 30 Beautiful Baby Girl Names You’ll Never Regret Choosing
- Disillusioned Parents Share 26 Harsh Realities of Raising Kids
- We Asked Our Parents to Stop Giving Toys to Our Kids And Give Them These Instead
- The 25 Sweetest and Girliest Names for Your Little Princess
- 18 Hilarious Fads That Will Disappear with Baby Boomers
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
