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19 Subtle Techniques Great Conversationalists Use Every Time They Speak

Conversations are an art form. Some people make it look easy, while others stumble through awkward pauses and misunderstandings.

The difference often comes down to a few key habits that great conversationalists never forget. These habits elevate their conversations, making them engaging, thoughtful, and memorable.

Average conversationalists might not realize they're missing these steps, but they make all the difference. If you want to take your communication skills to the next level, here are 19 things great conversationalists always do.

They Listen More Than They Talk

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Great conversationalists know when to pause and truly listen. They don’t dominate the conversation but allow the other person space to share their thoughts.

By listening actively, they make the other person feel valued and heard. This leads to deeper, more meaningful exchanges.

They Ask Open-Ended Questions

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Instead of yes-or-no questions, they dig deeper with open-ended ones. This keeps the conversation flowing and encourages the other person to elaborate.

It shows genuine interest in the other person’s experiences and opinions. Open-ended questions reveal more than surface-level chatter.

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They Avoid Interrupting

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Interruptions can derail conversations and make people feel dismissed. Great conversationalists know the importance of patience.

They wait for the other person to finish before sharing their thoughts. This respect builds trust and keeps the conversation balanced.

They Use Body Language Wisely

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Non-verbal cues like eye contact, nodding, and facial expressions matter. Great conversationalists use body language to show they’re engaged.

They lean in slightly, maintain good posture, and offer encouraging gestures. Their body language reinforces their words.

They Stay Curious

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Curiosity drives great conversations. Instead of just waiting for their turn to speak, they explore new topics and ideas.

They ask follow-up questions that go beyond the surface. Their curiosity makes conversations richer and more enjoyable.

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They Adjust Their Tone and Pace

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Great conversationalists understand that tone and pace matter. They adjust based on the mood and energy of the conversation.

Sometimes, a slower, thoughtful tone works best; other times, a lively pace keeps things exciting. They match their delivery to the moment.

They Make the Other Person Feel Interesting

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One secret to being great at conversation is making others feel valued. Great conversationalists highlight the other person’s strengths or experiences.

They show admiration and interest, making the other person feel important. This builds rapport and mutual respect.

They Know When to Share Personal Stories

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Personal stories add color to conversations, but only in moderation. Great conversationalists know when to share and when to hold back.

They use stories to connect, not to dominate the conversation. Their stories serve the discussion, not their ego.

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They Avoid Complaining

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While venting can feel natural, great conversationalists steer clear of negativity. They focus on positive or constructive topics.

This keeps the conversation light and enjoyable for everyone. They know that too much complaining can drain the energy of a discussion.

They Handle Awkward Pauses Gracefully

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Even great conversations hit awkward pauses. The key is not to panic.

Great conversationalists use these moments to ask a new question or shift the topic smoothly. They don’t let a pause derail the flow.

They Don’t Hog the Spotlight

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Conversations are a two-way street. Great conversationalists share the spotlight, giving the other person plenty of room to talk.

They balance speaking and listening evenly. This makes the conversation feel like a true exchange.

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They Use Humor Appropriately

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A little humor can lighten the mood and keep things fun. Great conversationalists sprinkle in humor at the right moments.

But they’re careful not to overdo it or make jokes at someone else’s expense. Their humor feels natural and respectful.

They Stay Present in the Moment

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Great conversationalists don’t get distracted by their phones or other thoughts. They’re fully engaged in the moment, giving the conversation their undivided attention.

Being present shows respect and keeps the conversation flowing smoothly. Distractions can break the connection instantly.

They Know When to Change the Subject

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Not every topic will land well, and great conversationalists sense when it’s time to pivot. If the conversation feels stale or uncomfortable, they introduce a new, fresh topic.

This keeps things interesting and avoids awkward moments. They master the art of the smooth topic transition.

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They Practice Empathy

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Empathy is key to understanding others in conversation. Great conversationalists put themselves in the other person’s shoes.

They respond to emotions, not just words, offering support or encouragement. Empathy deepens connections and builds stronger relationships.

They Don’t Just Wait to Speak

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Average conversationalists often just wait for their turn to talk. Great ones stay fully engaged even when they're not speaking.

They process what’s being said and respond thoughtfully. This leads to a more dynamic and responsive conversation.

They Avoid Being Judgmental

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Conversations thrive when people feel safe from judgment. Great conversationalists create a welcoming space where others feel free to express themselves.

They don’t jump to conclusions or criticize harshly. This openness allows for deeper, more honest discussions.

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They Offer Compliments, Not Criticism

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Great conversationalists know how to uplift others. They offer genuine compliments when appropriate, making people feel good.

They avoid unnecessary criticism or negative feedback in casual conversation. Positive reinforcement builds stronger relationships.

They End on a Positive Note

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Great conversationalists know how to wrap things up on a high. They end conversations with a compliment, a joke, or a warm thank you.

This leaves the other person feeling good about the interaction. It also opens the door for future conversations.

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