20 Bizarre Social Expectations From Our Childhood That Are Totally Unthinkable Today
As kids, we blindly followed social norms without ever questioning them. Yet as we grow older, many of those rules feel downright absurd.
From how we interacted with adults to what was considered “proper behavior,” the world has changed in ways we didn’t anticipate. What was once deemed acceptable or even expected now stands out as strange or even offensive.
Let's dive into 20 social norms from childhood that seem downright outrageous when we look at them with fresh eyes today.
Saying “Children Should Be Seen, Not Heard”
This old saying implied that kids should remain quiet and out of sight, especially around adults. It reinforced the idea that children’s opinions and voices were irrelevant or unwelcome, a norm that would seem incredibly dismissive today.
Being Forced to Give Hugs or Kisses to Relatives
As kids, we were often expected to show physical affection to relatives, even if we didn’t feel comfortable. Today, we understand that bodily autonomy should be respected, and forcing kids into unwanted physical contact is considered inappropriate.
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Being Told “It's Just a Joke, Don’t Take It Personally”
Insults disguised as humor were once brushed off as harmless. If someone made a cruel or insensitive remark, the default response was “don’t take it personally.”
Today, there’s more awareness about the harm that can be done by “jokes” that cross the line.
Wearing Uncomfortable Clothes for Special Occasions
From tight shoes to itchy sweaters, we were often dressed in uncomfortable clothes for holidays, parties, or even church. It was just part of the deal. Nowadays, comfort is a priority, and there’s less tolerance for enduring physical discomfort for the sake of appearances.
Calling Adults by Their Titles and Last Names
As kids, calling adults by their last names or titles was expected as a sign of respect. Today, first-name basis is increasingly common, reflecting a shift toward more egalitarian relationships between children and adults.
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“Don’t Talk Back” Was the Ultimate Offense
Children were discouraged from speaking up or questioning authority figures. This authoritarian approach often stifled healthy communication.
Nowadays, children are encouraged to express themselves and engage in respectful dialogue.
Punishing Children With Corporal Discipline
Many parents in the past believed in spanking or other forms of corporal punishment as a way to discipline children. Today, physical punishment is widely recognized as harmful, with positive discipline methods gaining ground.
Expecting Kids to “Figure It Out” Alone
From homework to social conflicts, kids were expected to solve problems on their own, with minimal guidance. Today, there’s a greater understanding that kids need support and mentorship, especially when dealing with complex issues.
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Insisting on Saying “Please” and “Thank You” at All Costs
While manners are important, the pressure to always say “please” and “thank you”—even when the situation didn’t warrant it—could be overwhelming. Today, we’re more likely to focus on authentic gratitude rather than rigid, obligatory politeness.
Being Told to “Toughen Up”
When kids were hurt or upset, the response often was “toughen up” or “don’t be a baby.” This minimized children’s feelings and discouraged emotional expression.
In contrast, modern parenting encourages empathy and emotional intelligence.
Being Punished for Not Finishing Your Food
It was common to be forced to finish everything on your plate, even if you weren’t hungry. Now, we recognize that forcing kids to overeat can lead to unhealthy relationships with food, and portion sizes are better understood.
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The “Stranger Danger” Fear
While safety is important, the widespread message that all strangers are dangerous led to unnecessary fear. Today, the focus is more on teaching children how to interact safely and trust their instincts, without instilling an overwhelming fear of the unknown.
Expecting Kids to Perform at All Times
Whether it was reciting poems or performing at family gatherings, children were often expected to entertain or put on a show. In modern times, the pressure to perform for others is recognized as harmful to children’s sense of self-worth.
Not Allowing Kids to Express Discomfort About Certain Foods
There was little room for kids to express dislike of certain foods, and they were often pressured to eat things they didn’t want. Nowadays, there's more recognition of kids' personal tastes and preferences in food, and forcing them to eat is no longer the norm.
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Parents Dictating Friendships
It was not uncommon for parents to choose or approve of a child’s friends based on their own preferences. Today, children’s autonomy in forming friendships is generally respected, and kids are encouraged to choose their own social circles.
No Talking at the Table
Many of us were raised to think that dinner time was a solemn, quiet event where no talking was allowed. Now, family meals are seen as an opportunity for conversation and connection, not just a time to eat.
Strict Bedtimes for Kids Regardless of Need
While setting a bedtime is important, the rigid approach to enforcing early bedtimes regardless of a child's sleep needs seems outdated. Today, parents are more in tune with their children's sleep cycles, adjusting bedtimes for their overall well-being.
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Making Kids Apologize Whether They Meant It or Not
In the past, kids were often forced to apologize to others, even if they didn’t understand what they were apologizing for. Now, the emphasis is on helping children understand the value of genuine apologies, not just saying the words.
Having No Say in Family Decisions
Children had little to no input when it came to family decisions, from vacations to daily routines. Today, many parents involve children in decision-making, encouraging a more collaborative and democratic family environment.
Being Told to “Sit Still and Be Quiet” in Social Settings
Children were expected to be silent and sit still during social events, even if they were bored or restless. In modern times, there’s more focus on allowing kids to move, play, and express themselves naturally, even in public or formal settings.
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