20 Signs That Your Grown Child Resents You and How to Fix It
Parent-child relationships evolve as children grow into adults, but sometimes, that transition can cause friction. If you’re noticing a shift in your relationship with your grown child, it could be due to underlying resentment.
Recognizing the signs of resentment is key to addressing any unresolved issues and rebuilding a healthy relationship. Here are 20 subtle clues that your grown child may be harboring feelings of resentment, along with ways you can repair the bond.
They’re Unavailable When You Need Them
If your child seems to avoid your calls or turns down offers to spend time together, it might be a sign of resentment. This could stem from feelings of being taken for granted in the past or a need for independence.
Reconnect by respecting their space while also making it clear that you value their presence in your life.
They Avoid Conversations About the Past
When a grown child shuts down any talk about past family events or experiences, it could indicate unresolved issues. Instead of pushing the conversation, offer a safe space for them to express their feelings.
Acknowledge past mistakes and show genuine remorse to rebuild trust.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
They Criticize Your Parenting Style
If your child often points out your mistakes or criticizes how you raised them, it could be a subtle form of resentment. Take a step back, listen to their perspective, and validate their feelings.
Understand that they may be processing childhood experiences, and be open to healthy discussions about your relationship.
They’re Always Busy When You Visit
A grown child who constantly reschedules or cuts visits short might be trying to avoid spending time with you. While their busy life might be a factor, it’s important to recognize if it’s a pattern of avoidance.
Respect their schedule but also express a desire to spend quality time together.
They Seem Indifferent About Your Accomplishments
If your child no longer shows enthusiasm or acknowledgment for your achievements, it may be a sign of resentment. They may feel overshadowed or neglected in the past.
Try to reconnect by engaging in activities or conversations that celebrate both of your successes.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
They Dismiss Your Advice or Opinions
When your adult child dismisses your input on personal matters, it might indicate frustration from feeling controlled or judged in the past. Reaffirm that you respect their choices, but offer advice only when invited.
Empower them to make their own decisions while remaining supportive.
They Are Short or Curt in Conversations
A shift from warm, engaging conversations to brief, cold exchanges could point to hidden resentment. Approach them with empathy, acknowledging the change and letting them know you’re available to talk without pressure.
They Don’t Involve You in Major Life Events
If your child is reluctant to include you in important milestones, like engagements, graduations, or even holidays, it could be a sign of emotional distance. Let them know that you’re there for support, but respect their boundaries.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
They Argue or Disagree Over Small Things
When minor disagreements turn into major arguments, it may reflect deeper feelings of resentment. This can be due to accumulated frustrations or unresolved conflicts.
Approach the situation calmly, seeking understanding, and offer an apology if needed.
They Show Signs of Guilt-Tripping You
A grown child who frequently uses guilt to get their way might be harboring resentment. This behavior can be a sign of unresolved anger or a feeling that their emotional needs were neglected.
Discuss your feelings openly, offering a chance for both of you to heal.
They Compare You to Other Parents
If your child constantly compares you to other parents, it may signal dissatisfaction with the way you raised them or how they perceive your relationship. Listen to their concerns, validate their feelings, and work toward a more balanced and empathetic dynamic.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
They Hold Onto Small Grudges
A grown child who remembers and brings up every small misstep or argument from the past may be holding onto resentment. Encourage open communication, and show that you are willing to resolve any lingering issues, no matter how small.
They Avoid Family Gatherings When You’re Present
If your child consistently avoids family events when you’re around, it could be a sign of avoidance due to unresolved tension. Reach out to them individually, offering a chance to reconnect one-on-one without the pressure of a group setting.
They Seem Emotionally Closed Off
A noticeable emotional distance or lack of affection may indicate a deep-seated resentment. Be patient, and let them know that you’re available for support whenever they’re ready to open up.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
They Don’t Return Your Texts or Calls Promptly
A delay in communication, especially in moments when you need support or just want to check in, may indicate avoidance. Let them know you respect their need for space while also expressing your desire for more frequent contact.
They Are Overly Critical of Your Choices
When your grown child begins to overly criticize your personal choices or lifestyle, it might be a projection of their unresolved frustrations. Instead of reacting defensively, try to calmly explain your decisions, offering a space for dialogue without judgment.
They Avoid Physical Affection
A lack of hugs, kisses, or any form of physical closeness can point to emotional distance caused by resentment. If this is happening, gently approach the topic, expressing a desire to rebuild closeness in a way that feels comfortable for both of you.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
They Make Excuses to Avoid Spending Time With You
When your child frequently finds excuses to not spend time with you, it can feel hurtful and indicate resentment. Acknowledge their independence, but also let them know you value the time spent together.
They Are Less Transparent About Their Lives
If your child becomes secretive or withholds personal information, it can be a sign of mistrust or resentment. Rebuild trust by showing a non-judgmental attitude and offering to listen without offering unsolicited advice.
They Revert to Old Behavioral Patterns
If your grown child starts acting out or behaving in ways reminiscent of their teenage years, it could be a sign of repressed emotions. Instead of reacting negatively, offer understanding and open communication to address the deeper issues at play.
More from IEPMommy
- Younger Workers Refuse to Follow These 15 Outdated Office Rules
- Stop Saying These 18 Overused Phrases That Drive People Up the Wall
- The Harsh Realities Boomers Lived That Millennials Didn’t Have to Face
- 17 Things Kids Had to Follow in the 70s That Sound Unreal Today
- 19 Old-Fashioned Beliefs That Boomers Cling to but Are Harmful Today
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
