How Being the Favorite or the Least Favorite Child Affects Your Lovelife as an Adult
The effects of childhood favoritism can extend far beyond the years of growing up. Whether you were the chosen one or felt left out, the dynamics of favoritism shape how you view yourself and others in adulthood.
These early experiences can deeply influence the way you form and maintain relationships, often without you even realizing it. If you’ve ever wondered why certain patterns show up in your romantic or social life, childhood favoritism may play a major role.
Insecurity in Your Self-Worth
Children who feel neglected or less favored can struggle with self-esteem as adults. If you were made to feel inferior compared to siblings, it can manifest in relationships where you constantly seek validation or fear rejection, even from those closest to you.
Difficulty Trusting Others
If favoritism created divisions in your family, it may have taught you that trust is conditional. As an adult, you might find it difficult to fully trust others or worry that people close to you will eventually disappoint or abandon you, just like your family once did.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
The Need to Constantly Prove Yourself
Those who were not favored as children may develop a deep need to prove their worth. This can spill into adulthood, especially in relationships where you feel you must always perform or go above and beyond to be accepted or loved.
Overcompensating for Fear of Being Left Behind
Adults who experienced favoritism as children may fear being overlooked or abandoned. This fear can lead to overcompensating in relationships by trying to do everything perfectly or constantly striving to keep others happy, all in an effort to avoid being “forgotten.”
Tendency to Push People Away
If you were the “unfavored” child, you may have developed emotional walls to protect yourself. In relationships, this might show up as a tendency to push people away when things get too close, as you're subconsciously preparing for the hurt of being left out again.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Struggling with Boundaries
Favoritism often teaches children that their needs don’t matter as much as others. As an adult, you may struggle with setting healthy boundaries in relationships, either by overextending yourself to others or by allowing people to cross your boundaries without consequence.
Feeling Like You’re Competing for Attention
When favoritism divides siblings, it often sets up a sense of competition for attention and affection. As an adult, this competitive streak can spill over into relationships, causing unnecessary jealousy, rivalry, and tension with your partner or friends.
Difficulty Accepting Compliments
Adults who grew up feeling overlooked or underappreciated may struggle to accept compliments. If you were never the “favorite,” you might find it hard to believe people when they praise you, even in healthy relationships where positive feedback is genuine.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Fear of Abandonment in Relationships
Having a parent who favored a sibling can create a deep-seated fear of abandonment in adulthood. This fear can manifest in relationships through clinginess, constant reassurance-seeking, or pushing loved ones away due to a fear they’ll leave just like you were left behind as a child.
People-Pleasing Tendencies
If you were the child who always tried to earn love, you might carry people-pleasing tendencies into adulthood. These can lead to an overwhelming desire to make others happy, often at the expense of your own needs, in an attempt to gain the approval that was hard to come by as a child.
Difficulty with Conflict Resolution
Growing up with favoritism can teach you that some people are more “worthy” of attention than others. In adulthood, this dynamic might leave you avoiding conflict with people you’re close to because you're afraid it will damage the relationship or make you feel “less than.”
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Resentment Toward Your Siblings
If you were the sibling who didn’t receive the same level of attention or love, you might harbor resentment toward the favored sibling. This unresolved resentment can affect adult relationships, especially if it leads to difficulty feeling happy for others' successes or struggles.
Fear of Repeating Family Dynamics
As an adult, you might be deeply afraid of repeating the unhealthy family dynamics you grew up with. This fear can affect your relationships, as you may be overly cautious about how you treat others, sometimes to the point of overcompensating or being overly defensive.
Lack of Self-Compassion
When a child feels they are less valued than a sibling, they may grow up with harsh self-criticism. As an adult, this can translate into a lack of self-compassion, leading to feelings of inadequacy, especially in intimate relationships, where vulnerability and self-acceptance are key.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Avoiding Emotional Vulnerability
Favoritism can create an emotional armor that’s difficult to remove in adulthood. As a result, you may avoid emotional vulnerability in relationships, afraid to open up fully to others, either out of fear of being hurt or because you learned to mask your emotions early on.
More from IEPMommy
- Younger Workers Refuse to Follow These 15 Outdated Office Rules
- 16 Reasons Employers Don’t Want to Hire Gen X Candidates Anymore
- The Harsh Realities Boomers Lived That Millennials Didn’t Have to Face
- These 21 Job Skills Are Now Completely Useless in Today’s Workforce
- 19 Old-Fashioned Beliefs That Boomers Cling to but Are Harmful Today
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
