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Trying Too Hard? 17 Red Flags You’re Forcing a Relationship

Relationships take work, but sometimes it’s easy to confuse effort with forcing something that isn’t meant to be. When we’re deeply invested, it can be hard to see that a relationship isn’t right, even when the red flags are staring us in the face.

Whether it’s a mismatch in values, communication breakdowns, or simply feeling unfulfilled, these signs can indicate that a relationship is being forced. Here are 17 red flags that you might be pushing a relationship that just isn’t meant to be—and what you can do about it.

You’re Always Walking on Eggshells

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If you constantly feel like you have to tiptoe around your partner to avoid conflict, it’s a sign something’s off. A healthy relationship shouldn’t make you feel anxious about every word or action.

This is a major red flag that the connection might not be right.

You’re Doing All the Work

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If you’re the one making all the plans, starting conversations, or trying to fix problems, it’s a sign of imbalance. A relationship should involve mutual effort from both sides.

If you’re carrying all the weight, you’re forcing it.

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There’s a Lack of Emotional Connection

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If you’re not connecting emotionally, but keep hoping things will change, you might be in denial. Without emotional intimacy, a relationship can feel empty and unfulfilling.

It’s time to ask whether this relationship is really right for you.

You’re Constantly Justifying Their Behavior

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If you find yourself defending your partner’s actions, even when they hurt you, it’s a sign of trouble. Healthy relationships don’t require constant excuses for bad behavior.

Don’t ignore this red flag—listen to what it’s telling you.

You’re Always Compromising (But They’re Not)

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Compromise is essential, but if it’s always one-sided, resentment can build. When you’re always the one bending, it’s a sign you’re trying too hard to make things work.

Both partners should meet in the middle.

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You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Around Them

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If you’re constantly adjusting your personality, interests, or opinions to fit what your partner wants, it’s not healthy. You should feel free to be your authentic self in a relationship.

If you don’t, you’re forcing something that doesn’t align with who you are.

You’re More Unhappy Than Happy

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Relationships will have ups and downs, but if you’re feeling miserable more often than not, something’s wrong. If the bad outweighs the good, you’re likely pushing a relationship that’s not meant to be.

Pay attention to how you truly feel.

You’re Holding on to the Potential, Not the Reality

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If you’re staying in the relationship because you believe it could get better, rather than because you’re happy now, that’s a red flag. Waiting for someone to change rarely leads to fulfillment.

Focus on the present, not a fantasy of what could be.

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You’re Afraid of Being Alone

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Staying in a relationship out of fear of loneliness is never a good reason to keep pushing it. If the relationship isn’t fulfilling you, it’s better to be alone than with the wrong person.

You deserve more than just settling.

Your Friends and Family Have Concerns

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If your loved ones are pointing out problems in your relationship, don’t dismiss them. They may see red flags you’re overlooking.

Take their concerns seriously—they care about your well-being.

There’s a Lack of Trust

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Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you’re constantly suspicious of your partner or they’re keeping secrets, it’s a major red flag.

Without trust, the relationship is being forced, not nurtured.

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You Avoid Tough Conversations

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If you avoid difficult topics because you fear they’ll lead to conflict or a breakup, that’s a sign you’re forcing things. Healthy relationships require open communication, even when it’s uncomfortable.

If you can’t talk about the hard stuff, something’s wrong.

You’re Always Comparing Your Relationship to Others

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If you constantly look at other couples and wish your relationship was more like theirs, it could be a sign of dissatisfaction. While every relationship is different, frequent comparison indicates you’re not content with your own.

Ask yourself why that is.

You’ve Outgrown Each Other

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Sometimes, people grow in different directions, and that’s okay. But if you find you no longer share the same goals or values, it might be time to accept that the relationship has run its course.

Forcing it won’t change that reality.

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You Feel Pressured to Stay Together

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If you’re staying in the relationship because of external pressure—whether from family, friends, or societal expectations—it’s not sustainable. A relationship should be something you want, not something you feel obligated to maintain.

You’re Constantly Second-Guessing the Relationship

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If you’re always questioning whether you should stay or go, it’s a major red flag. Trust your gut—it’s trying to tell you something.

A healthy relationship shouldn’t leave you in a constant state of doubt.

You’re Staying Because of Time Invested

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Just because you’ve been together for years doesn’t mean you should keep forcing it. Don’t let the time you’ve put into a relationship be the reason you stay if it’s not working.

You deserve a fulfilling connection, no matter how long you’ve been with someone.

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