Why Some Parents Struggle with Close Bonds: 19 Traits They Often Exhibit
A close, trusting bond with adult children doesn’t always come naturally, and in many cases, it can fade over time. Parents who find themselves disconnected from their grown kids often exhibit certain behaviors that unintentionally create distance.
These traits are not always obvious, and the impact can be far-reaching. In this article, we’ll explore 19 behaviors parents may not even realize they're displaying, which could be pushing their adult children away.
Consistently Dismissing Their Children’s Feelings
Parents who dismiss their adult children’s emotions often create an environment of emotional disconnect. When a parent belittles or invalidates a child’s feelings, it can lead to the child feeling unheard and uncared for.
Over time, this emotional distance deepens, and the relationship weakens.
Trying to Control Their Children’s Decisions
Parents who struggle to let go may try to control their adult children's decisions. This could manifest as overbearing advice or subtle manipulations to influence life choices.
Adult children can feel suffocated or resentful, leading to a strained relationship.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Not Respecting Boundaries
If parents don’t respect their children’s personal space and boundaries, it can result in frustration and discomfort. Whether it’s overstepping physical boundaries or prying into private matters, adult children will often retreat emotionally when their limits are not respected.
Focusing Too Much on Criticism
A constant focus on what’s wrong can alienate children, especially as they become adults. Parents who habitually criticize rather than support or encourage their children create an environment of negativity, leaving their kids feeling unappreciated and distant.
Lack of Interest in Their Children’s Lives
When parents show little interest in their children’s activities, achievements, or emotional well-being, it signals neglect. Adult children may feel that their parents don’t care enough to invest in the relationship, leading to emotional withdrawal.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Prioritizing Their Own Needs Over Their Children’s
Parents who place their own needs ahead of their children's can create feelings of neglect. If the parent’s priorities always seem to come first, adult children may struggle to form a healthy emotional connection with them.
Being Overly Critical of Their Children’s Partners
Parents who criticize or undermine their child’s partner can create a rift. It can lead to the child feeling torn between their parents and their partner, often causing resentment toward both sides and weakening the relationship over time.
Constantly Comparing Them to Others
Comparison can be damaging to adult children’s self-esteem. Parents who frequently compare their kids to others—whether it’s siblings or other people—can make their children feel inadequate or unloved, which leads to emotional distance.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Displaying Conditional Love
Parents who offer love based on certain conditions, like accomplishments or behavior, send the message that love is not unconditional. Adult children may feel that they are only loved when they meet certain standards, which can create feelings of rejection.
Keeping Their Children in the Role of a Child
When parents fail to recognize their adult children as independent individuals, they often maintain a dynamic where the child is treated as a perpetual “kid.” This lack of recognition of their adult status can stunt their emotional growth and breed resentment.
Being Emotionally Unavailable
If parents are emotionally unavailable or distant, it makes it hard for adult children to connect. A lack of emotional warmth, affection, or openness can leave children feeling disconnected and neglected.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Avoiding Difficult Conversations
Parents who avoid tough or sensitive conversations—like those about emotions, relationships, or future plans—may unintentionally push their adult children away. Without open communication, the relationship can feel shallow or untrusting.
Expecting to Be Included Without Effort
Sometimes parents assume they should automatically be a central part of their adult children’s lives without making an effort to stay engaged. This can result in disappointment when their children don’t prioritize them, leading to emotional strain.
Lacking Empathy
Empathy is the foundation of any close relationship. Parents who fail to empathize with their children’s experiences, struggles, or successes may inadvertently foster an environment of emotional isolation, making the bond feel more distant.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Using Guilt as a Manipulation Tactic
Parents who frequently use guilt to manipulate their adult children—whether it’s about time, attention, or loyalty—create feelings of obligation rather than affection. Over time, this tactic can build resentment and damage the relationship.
Over-Relying on Their Children for Emotional Support
While it’s important for children to be there for their parents, an over-reliance on children for emotional support can create an unhealthy dynamic. Parents who burden their adult children with their emotional struggles can lead to emotional exhaustion, making the relationship one-sided.
Lack of Respect for Their Children’s Independence
Some parents struggle with their children becoming independent, continuing to treat them as though they’re still dependent. This lack of respect for autonomy can create a barrier in the relationship, as the child may feel like their growth is being stunted.
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
Failing to Apologize or Acknowledge Mistakes
Parents who never apologize or acknowledge when they are wrong send the message that their feelings and actions are more important than their children's. This lack of humility can damage trust and emotional connection.
Not Supporting Their Children’s Goals
Parents who fail to support their adult children’s dreams, goals, or career choices can create an emotional distance. Without encouragement or backing, adult children may feel unsupported and disconnected, even if the parent’s intentions aren’t malicious.
More from IEPMommy
- Younger Workers Refuse to Follow These 15 Outdated Office Rules
- 16 Reasons Employers Don’t Want to Hire Gen X Candidates Anymore
- The Harsh Realities Boomers Lived That Millennials Didn’t Have to Face
- These 21 Job Skills Are Now Completely Useless in Today’s Workforce
- 19 Old-Fashioned Beliefs That Boomers Cling to but Are Harmful Today
Like iepmommy's content? Follow us on MSN.
